dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
