It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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