A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
