do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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