so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
