Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
