i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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