so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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