Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
