the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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