you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
In other news, I just burned my penis
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
