Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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