glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize