So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
