A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
