It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
