And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
