I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
