im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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