Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
