Dual....:-)
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
