And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize