It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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