508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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