i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
