things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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