I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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