Whoa Z and x make the same sound
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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