I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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