I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
