I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
