she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
