I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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