So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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