i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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