I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
