OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Randomize