Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize