The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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