There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
