a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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