just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dignity is for republicans.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
