meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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