last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
