I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
