can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
he high fived his dick after we had sex
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
