Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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