I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
