her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
