Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
