I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
