piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
