i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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