it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
