Barsexuality is the new black.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize