already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
