My cat gives me a boner
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
