Its about making memories worth repressing
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
