I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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