I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
