see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
