K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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